Dancing for joy to tears of sorrow

The combo of wanting to dance for joy and having the such deep sorrow. If hasn't been for the support of friends who are praying for me. You know how you are and I am grateful for you prayers. Also, for allowing me be able to express in word and tears what's my heart. I would have walked away from the Church. It seems that it is in these crazy mixed up moments that God seems the most tangible and real. Being able to face the why questions that have been coming up. Taking the time to give them light and to answer them. The answers to these questions very well might be ones I do not want to hear. Yet, it is something that will have to be faced. Crazy as this may and does sound. I love that I can at the sometime dance for joy and have such deep sorrow. For sorrow lasts for the night and joy will come in the morning. This was true this past Monday morning after working the over night and feeling quite down. I had an eight a.m. with great news. That the wondering and the waiting finally being to be asked "Will you marry me?" And the answer give was "Yes!!" Which was just the news I needed to bring a smile to my face. If I did not think people would thing I was some crazy lady I would have gotten out of my truck and stated to dance around it. This all seems so crazy to me that at the same time it is likely to feel such great joy and feel great sorrow as while. Cause me to wonder if this is how God feels. When we turn away and reject his love. It is quite likely, since we his children so often walk anyway from him and say we are going to do things our own way. It has also been a week that I have had a deep sense of sorrow. Sorrow of remembering what it is loss loved ones. There are a few other thing that at for know to keep to myself, friends, and to pray over.