What are the blessings in your life?

What are the blessings in your life?  The things that seem so overwhelming and hard to bear alone.  Tears of pain or anger.  Possibly even both.  How is it that when the world says try this and all will be forgotten. No more heartache, pain, fear, or what ever it might be.  All these things and more are still just below the surface. Ready to come out at the next turn.  Wondering who will understand or truly care?  Is there really anyone who does?
I know with out any doubt there is!  That with out Christ I would have not been able to carry one.  Yet, it has not been easy. It has been anything but easy.  Have I come to a place of peace and calm.  I'm no were close to that.  Just ask those who have seen me struggle to find my way.  Struggling to even find some sort of calm even within myself.  Even when the struggle is with what is not known.
What is it then that can be considered a blessing?  The fight to become whole in Christ.  The tears shed for those taken by sickness or old age?  Knowing the love of a mother, grandmother, father, grandfather, and friends?  Yes!  The love of a God who understands. The gift of prayers answered.  In the most unexpected ways. 

Leaning to pray

It has been over the last several weeks that Our Father has been both a great comfort and heartache. Since it was the prayer I was taught by mom when I was little. Being one of the many things that would be said as I was being tucked into be at night. So, it has been many times when at Mass that the tears come and I try to hold them back. Yet, holding the tears I end up losing and the come the tears. It is in trying hold back the tears that the memories come rushing back of my mom trying one more time to say the words to this prayer but was not able too. It was then that I understood that it was my mom who, in her own way, set the course for where I am now. Her understanding that one day I would find the comfort and joy in faith. That I had to fight to make my own and to share with others. Many times in a quite way. By working with people with developmental or the homeless. Even by just being there for friends in thier times of need. Yet, it is in knowing that it started with a prayer and hope of a mother that I will always keep with me. The memory of her saying one last time;
"Our Father, Who art in Heaven, hallowed be Thy name; Thy kingdom come, Thy will be done on earth as it is in Heaven. Give us this day our daily bread; and forgive those who trespass against us; and lead us not into temptation, but deliver us from evil. Amen"

Everlasting Love

What will you say

Once I see you face to face

Longing to know what of your love for me

Your love for me that never ends

How is it that I am on your mind

Even before I was born

Longing for the day to fall into your embrace

I need your love 

And to know that you are with me

More know then ever

Having a birds eye view

You have known me

Feeling that you are no longer with me

How is it that you knew that one day

That I would be a woman

Called by name

To become one who loves

Yet, fears to become an outcast

Felling that all has been worked for

Will all be lost

For the world to come crashing down

Your love is everlasting

You came down from glory

To show your endless love

Which you have longed to give 

Yet to often turned away from

Not wanting to give up my ways

For yours

Everlasting are you to love 

When it is not given in return

How is it that this everlasting love still is given

That so willing to give up Heaven

Showing us an everlasting love

That heaven could not hold it any longer

The Divine Mercy Prayer in a Song

I have found that praying the Divine Mercy Chaplet has given much comfort to me over the past week or so. Even when tears don't always come.  

Do not.......

Do not stand at my grave and weep,
I am not there, I do not sleep,
I am the diamond glints in the snow.
I am the sunlight on ripened grain;
I am the gentle autumn's rain.
When you awaken in the morning hush,
I am the swift uplifting rush
Of quite birds in circlrs flight.
I am the soft star that shines at night.
Do not stand at my grave and cry.
I am not there; I did not die.
~Author Unknown

One Day

Better is one day in you courts
I will sit at the door
Being a gate keeper
Just to be close to you
To hear your voice
Calling out to me by name
Touch the deepest hurts of my
soul
Hearing the still small voice
Calling out to me
To let go
And give to you
The heartache and fears
That it is not mine to hold
You call to my soul
To let your love wash over me
Your healing power
Forgiveness of our transgrations
Better is one day
Then a thousand any were else

Calling

Be near to me and I to you
You are mine
I have called you by name to
come
I know the day and hour of your
coming and going
This heartache of this moment
All of it known
Every tear that falls
I am there with breaking heart
and tears falling
My daughter beloved child
Look upon my Son
The price has been payed
No greater love
Have you bor heard my calling to
you to come
Lay down your broken heart
Your way not lost
Wondering and lonely
So, far away from your love
From your loving embrace
Can it be that I was running
From the One calling
As I sit in stillness of night
Given such great blessings
The tears seen
Understanding
Love and mercy

Prayer of St. Francis

Lord, make me an instrument of Thy peace. Where there is hatred, let me sow love; where there is doubt, faith; where there is darkness, light; and where there is sadness, joy.

O, Divine Master, grant that I may not so much seek to be consoled, as to console; to be understood as to understand; to be loved as to love; for it is in giving that we receive; it is in pardoning thay we are pardoned, and it is in dying that we are born to eternal life.

Never Been Unloved

A few days ago this song came on the radio at a time when I was feeling quite down and unlovable. So, many times over the past few weeks I have need to hear this song. As one of the line loosely say, "I have been undesirable but never unlovable." Even at my worst times I am loved.