Entering Holy Week

This time last year I was coming in to the final days of R.C.I.A. It was with much joy in remembering the great anticipation in finally becoming fully Catholic. Yet, it is with some sorrow as while. Sorrow in knowing that I would shortly be having to deal with the loss of my beloved grandmother. Who struggled for most of last year of being in poor health. Along with the serious health issues of my mother that are still ever present. Its these events that have made my faith tangable. Each time I'm at I go to Mass I am overwhelmed by being able to receive Christ. It is in know Him that was with me then. As while as know. So, this year I am reminded of the time of prep airing for being received. The time to truly make sure that this is what I desired and not a felting fad. Saying yes at the during the Easter Vigil was profoundly powerful. A time of huge and overwhelming graces that words seem to fail.

Shared Journy

What is it to share this journey that I am on? Showing that chasing after the call to a life that many do not understand. How is it that I a women in her early thirties a convert to the Catholic Church? Possibly, one day become a religious sister. I know that with out any second guessing that it is by the grace of God. That it has been only by His promptings or more to the point the kicks in the butt. Ever since I was about fifteen years old. That there was something I am called to. That goes against the time in which I live. By the questioning of those who taught within the faith tradition I once belonged to and called home. Finding that what I was taught and told just did not add up. With what I would read in the Bible. Which, did not help me come to a faith of my own. What it did do was cause me to wonder if about God and Jesus Christ. Whether or not if anything was true in the Bible or just a bunch of man made stories. That did not stop me from trying to find the truth. Even though it has take a lot of time. Yet, God's time is prefect. He will not force anyone of to do anything that he or she does not want to be doing.

Do or do not there is no try

As He was setting out on a journey, a man ran up to Him and knelt before Him, and asked Him, "Good Teacher, what shall I do to inherit eternal life?"And Jesus said to him, "Why do you call Me good? No one is good except God alone. "You know the commandments, 'DO NOT MURDER, DO NOT COMMIT ADULTERY, DO NOT STEAL, DO NOT BEAR FALSE WITNESS, Do not defraud, HONOR YOUR FATHER AND MOTHER.'" And he said to Him, "Teacher, I have kept all these things from my youth up." Looking at him, Jesus felt a love for him and said to him, "One thing you lack: go and sell all you possess and give to the poor, and you will have treasure in heaven; and come, follow Me." But at these words he was saddened, and he went away grieving, for he was one who owned much property.

-Mark 10:17-22

This weekend I spent the weekend with this Sister at Rosary Hill and what a weekend it was. I differently need to get going with discerning my vocations. No longer can I just sit on my hands to wait for it to just come to me. I have to get going. What is it that is holding me back? What 'riches' have a hold on me? No longer can I be I be idol in looking into what it is that my vocation is. Run full speed a head not stopping for anything. Seeking after the lover of my soul. The one who is head over heals for me. With the voice that has been quietly calling me since I was sixteen years old. Yet, been tuning for way to long. It is time now for me to take action and to stop siting on the side lines of life. Taking the time to be still to hear the voice of the creator.

A little of this and a bit of that

This year I hope to blog on a more consistency then I have overt he past several months. The craziness of life has gotten the best of me. The time that I need to spend in prayer, reading, and everything else has been replaced with work. Working way to much has started to show in it self. In my lack of interest in the things I love to do. Blogging being one of these things. I noticed greatly when I spent a few days at Rosary Hill. A great group of Dominican Sisters. Given the chance to join them in their ways of life. Their way of life was a breath of fresh air and it gave me the wake up call that I needed. Slowing down and taking time for myself is something I need to starting doing more of. With the work I do at Pioneer. I must take care of myself or I will be of no use to anyone.
So, hears to the a new year and to a fresh start.

Crash landings

Seemingly there are time when everything seems to hit at once. When everything comes crashing down upon me. At least that's the way it felt yesterday. A resounding sense of lose and grief seemed to make a crash landing upon my heart. A sense like everything was to much and I could no longer keep on keeping on. Learning once again that I am not able to do life on my own. That by our very being we need other people to bear each others burdens. By prayer and listening to each others hearts, and so much more.

Thomas Merton

I've been reading over the past several month The Seven Storey Mountain by Thomas Merton. What a great book so far but it definitely one that I am not able to race though. What a life he live as a childhood he had. Along with his high school and college life. I am not quite half way though it. I have been able to get quite a bit of from his journey to coming to the the place where he was when he passed away. I am looking forward to keep reading about his early life. There seems to be so much that could have lead him a way from Christ. Yet, there seemed to be that 'something' calling him to the real truth of life. Differently this is one of those books everyone should read at least once.

Jumping off the ride

The need to be able to rest and have time to be alone is a great thing. Yet, one that seems to be hard to find. One way or another I'll be able to find some of this. Being able to seek after what it is I'm being called to is not easy. When it feels that I'm being pulled in so many ways. At some point all of us need to jump of the ride and walk away to just be. What ever it is at that moment to be present to God. No matter what we might be feeling or thinking about. He already knows and wants us to come to Him any way.