Crash landings

Seemingly there are time when everything seems to hit at once. When everything comes crashing down upon me. At least that's the way it felt yesterday. A resounding sense of lose and grief seemed to make a crash landing upon my heart. A sense like everything was to much and I could no longer keep on keeping on. Learning once again that I am not able to do life on my own. That by our very being we need other people to bear each others burdens. By prayer and listening to each others hearts, and so much more.

Thomas Merton

I've been reading over the past several month The Seven Storey Mountain by Thomas Merton. What a great book so far but it definitely one that I am not able to race though. What a life he live as a childhood he had. Along with his high school and college life. I am not quite half way though it. I have been able to get quite a bit of from his journey to coming to the the place where he was when he passed away. I am looking forward to keep reading about his early life. There seems to be so much that could have lead him a way from Christ. Yet, there seemed to be that 'something' calling him to the real truth of life. Differently this is one of those books everyone should read at least once.

Jumping off the ride

The need to be able to rest and have time to be alone is a great thing. Yet, one that seems to be hard to find. One way or another I'll be able to find some of this. Being able to seek after what it is I'm being called to is not easy. When it feels that I'm being pulled in so many ways. At some point all of us need to jump of the ride and walk away to just be. What ever it is at that moment to be present to God. No matter what we might be feeling or thinking about. He already knows and wants us to come to Him any way.

Making the point

Know a week later I keep going back to the all that was talked about over the weekend. The unmistakable bound that has been made over the weekend. Without a second thought the Holy Spirit was defiantly at work with all us. Also, there is no mistaking, that God has His way of making sure a point hits home.

As we made out down to the lake (picture is of Lake Michigan and not of the lake at Holy Family) dark clouds started to drift over us. While we were making our way to the shore line to reflect on baptism. Either we were to come back together in ten minutes. Well, you may have guessed, it started to rain for about ten minutes. This is, at least for me, just one of many moments that the point has been made. In many ways, as I am seeking out what it is I am being called to. I know that the Holy Spirit is moving and confirming the way I'm going.

Understanding

How can I help those understand the way I have been choising the path I am going down? I don't know that anyone can really understand. Unless, one is also going though a simlar journy. Allowing the Holy Spirit to work with in the hearts of those who are supportive. Yet, seemingly at a distance. I would love for those I care for to really understand. I can not make them understand. It is not up to me for them to be able see or understand.

Prayer of the Holy Spirit

O, Holy Spirit,

beloved of my soul,

I adore You.

Enlighten me, guide me,

stengthen me, console me.

Tell me what

I should do; give

me Your orders.

I promise to submist myself to all that

You desire of me and to accept all that

You permit to happen to me.

Let me only know

Your will.

Listening to what my calling maybe

I can't help wonder what the calling I have for my life. Right know as I go a visit a few communities. So, far the ones I've been to have felt like place I could be at. Yet, this is not something to be rushed into. I feel a little bit lost at times. Just not knowing if I'm headed in the way that God has set before me. At times it seems that I am and at others it does not. There seems to be so many questions to be answered and to be asked. Still, there seems to be no words to put to all these questions and answers for them. For, know any way it seems that all this is something that to be wrestled with with and pondered. No matter what, it seems that there will be this struggle with whether or not one is heading down the path for someones life.