Wheat or weeds

The readings for this week have been centered around soil, wheat and weeds. As the words of these readings from the Gospels for the weekly mass have been working on my heart. The sense of need for confession and to becoming what it is to be more like Christ. Being in the world and not of it. The quetions of what is to take a stand for those who need it and how that looks likes. So, what is it to be wheat rather thw weeds?

Your Grace Is Enough

What is it to share your love and grace. Being able to have the grace to live out my call in life. Relizing that your grace is enogh for me. When all seems to cone crashing down and it feels that I can no longer carry on. When prayer comes only in painful quite. The pain of longing for the lover of my heart and soul. The wonder of His grace and love. No one can fully understand. He loves us worts and all. Even when we are at the lost.

Sorrows

What it must have felt that day when the events of the Passion took place. Knowing that all to soon that Jesus would willing go to the cross for all of us. He willing became poor and one body. For us thag we may live. Sorrow is present within my heart. Slowly, it crept into my heart and has made its home. Is this anything like what Mary felt as she took in the pain and sufferinf of he son upon the try. After all she knew that Jesus had to take this placw upom the tree. For there is no grater love then this. Then to lay down ones life for ones friends.

Restless spirit

This last week I have been restless. Being able to pray for any amount of time has been diffcult. A sense of deep hurt and fear seemed to have hit. Not really being able to put it all together until late Friday night and yesterday. Praying though parts of Matthew this week. Reminded me that I have to be salt and light to a dark and tasteless world. That I have to use far less words when I pray for the Father already knows what I need and what is the best for me. That true love and forgiveness comes from his love. Being able to enjoy community with him. Is to allown him to speak to us. Even with a restless spirit. That is hurting and crying out to the healer.

Love as I have love you

We are called to love as He has loved us. How is that the one sent to us can have such love for those who put him on the tree. It was my sins and failings that put him there and my lack of love that kept him on the cross. A love that I can not even start to explain or even understand. A love that drove God to allow Jesus, his beloved son to die. Even the death upon the cross. What would this look like if this would be in today? Lethal injections or something more inhuman?
Would I be able to lay my life down for those I have never known? How can I love as he first loved me. Since, He died for my sins. Knowing that I will once again have to ask for forgiveness. What is it to love this much? With the heart and mind of Jesus. I do not know. Only that I have to daily ask for the help to do this.

Entering Holy Week

This time last year I was coming in to the final days of R.C.I.A. It was with much joy in remembering the great anticipation in finally becoming fully Catholic. Yet, it is with some sorrow as while. Sorrow in knowing that I would shortly be having to deal with the loss of my beloved grandmother. Who struggled for most of last year of being in poor health. Along with the serious health issues of my mother that are still ever present. Its these events that have made my faith tangable. Each time I'm at I go to Mass I am overwhelmed by being able to receive Christ. It is in know Him that was with me then. As while as know. So, this year I am reminded of the time of prep airing for being received. The time to truly make sure that this is what I desired and not a felting fad. Saying yes at the during the Easter Vigil was profoundly powerful. A time of huge and overwhelming graces that words seem to fail.

Shared Journy

What is it to share this journey that I am on? Showing that chasing after the call to a life that many do not understand. How is it that I a women in her early thirties a convert to the Catholic Church? Possibly, one day become a religious sister. I know that with out any second guessing that it is by the grace of God. That it has been only by His promptings or more to the point the kicks in the butt. Ever since I was about fifteen years old. That there was something I am called to. That goes against the time in which I live. By the questioning of those who taught within the faith tradition I once belonged to and called home. Finding that what I was taught and told just did not add up. With what I would read in the Bible. Which, did not help me come to a faith of my own. What it did do was cause me to wonder if about God and Jesus Christ. Whether or not if anything was true in the Bible or just a bunch of man made stories. That did not stop me from trying to find the truth. Even though it has take a lot of time. Yet, God's time is prefect. He will not force anyone of to do anything that he or she does not want to be doing.